I was nowhere close to writing this article but I had to conduct a research and understand which generation I actually belong to. Out of the six existing generation categories, I have always thought I am a millennial, but oops I am nowhere to been close been one. Apparently, I am a born 2000’s and that makes me a Generation Z. A generation born between 1997 and 2014.

My generation has often been called out and said to be a dump generation, useless and phone crazed by older generations and the media at times and this is quite funny. This is something debatable but for today I am not about to dwell on this. All I know is we are that generation that is going to change the world.

After discovering, I am a Generation Z; I looked up some characteristics and I relate to most of them. Especially the one of wanting to be heard always, it now makes perfect sense why my sisters and I are always arguing with our mother because we want our point to make sense to her. A perfect example is when she thinks we have done something wrong and to us it was the best option available at the time. No one wants to hear they are wrong.

My generation identifies itself with the following characteristics; digital natives, diversity is a norm, are financially minded, enjoys other company, are competitive and many factors contribute to our mental health, among other many characteristics but for now let me dwell on the few I was able to relate with.

We are the digital natives. If you are placed in a room full of generation Z kids, the first thing you will notice how glued they are to their phones. It is perceived we are all about technology, from when they were born the internet and cell phones have been part of their life. It might be because whenever we want information we tend to get details from the internet “google is the answer”.

Diversity is our norm; we were born in a diverse set up. Look at how we are so open minded about the different types of existing intimate relationship amongst our peers and ourselves. It is only our generation that openly speaks up on the lgbtq issue and understands that some people are just born different from others; and you cannot force a behavior on somebody.

We are born social or should I say born to be social. Not necessarily social in terms of being talkative but look at how we take control of the social media platforms, as much as some few millennials have found their way on the social networks we are still talking control almost everywhere. look at how well we know our way on snapchat and Instagram. We also enjoy and utilize the videocalls and live features on these networks, because it makes us enjoy our friend’s company no matter where they are situated even when we are in different parts of the world.

I guess I need to stop typing now; I feel like I am enjoying this new discovery more than I should. Before I go, there is also this one negative characteristic we are identified with; research tends to prove that our mental health is often affected by many factors as a result of been so glued to own smartphones and not creating time for meaningful healthy relationships but how true is this. We might have to conduct an in-depth research to prove this point.

Generation Z is changing the social landscape. Marketers better take note or they won’t keep up.

Planoly (Pinterest)

We as humans are so quick to judge. Many are those time I have heard people try to correct other people’s parenting ways, and that is where we go wrong. How easy is parenting? Every day it crosses my mind that our parents actually did their parenting how they best knew it. We cannot confidently state there is a good and bad parenting method because obviously every parent does want what is best for his or her children. Others tend to assume that, in the current generation and how people choose careers; some parents have failed in parenting which actually is not an issue. Some people too also judge based on how different people dress; to them this makes them categorize how good or bad some parents parented their kids.

I once heard someone say that because a person has chosen to study and specialize in the beauty industry that his parents had failed in their parenting. It is time people understand that we are no longer in the old era where there were stereotypes of what jobs belong to who. Such should not occur especially in this era because we have seen guys major in the skill of makeup and actually turned out to be the best professional makeup artist we could never think of, the like of Creative Phil; isn’t that talent.

We cannot practice the dictatorship parenting like our grandparents used on our parents. We need to learn that in this time and era we should try to practice the involving kind of parenting where children have a say in whatever they intend to do with their life and as long as it is something that will make them happy and have an impact in their life. Let your children connect to you and talk to you why they think something is right or wrong or rather why they feel like you show reconsider a decision, because it create a safe space for parents and children to have candid conversations.

As days pass by different trends of fashion emerge and by how people dress, we really cannot call them decent or not. Because some people dress in a certain way to express themselves, to feel cute and confident in their attire. Letting people be comfortable in whatever attire they want to be in gives them some sort of confidence. At this date and era we want a confident generation, people who can express themselves without the fear of feeling judged and misunderstood.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice playpen. when they are finished I climb out.

Erma Bombeck.

Ps; no one knows everything and we are all learning as days pass by.

Let me start by saying I personally do not know everything parenting entails and I am proud of every single parent cause they did what they knew and thought was good for their kids. In a huge population we live in, only a number of us can define what toxic parenting is exactly. Some of them might have experienced it first hand or witnessed their friends going through it. Earlier this month, I conducted a poll on my Instagram; to see if my followers understand what I am talking about and apparently, a large percentage can relate.  69% voted yes.

Imagine the damage of having a toxic parent during your childhood does not end when you grow up as people assume, because you now have to recover from the traumas. It becomes hard because at times the individual has to detach themselves emotionally from the trauma. At least 60% of Africans have at some point experienced toxic parenthood, which makes them bottle up their emotions leading to more increased suicide cases and increased depression cases. At times, it even affects someone to a point they do not want to be parents in future, because of the fear of being a toxic parent.

It must be terrible to live a life with the fear of rejection, bottling up your emotions not to appear weak, trying to please people and self-esteem issues among other effects of having toxic parents. In most instances, parents do not do this knowingly; obviously, no parents want to give their child a hell on earth experience.

Most of the unhealthy relationships amongst our peers is because of toxic parenting. Imagine living your entire life without opening up and now you have a partner who always expects you to open up when you are not okay. Of course, you will feel like they are all in your business when that is not the case; they genuinely care because they want make sure you are fine. It goes to an extent of them tolerating behaviors they are not comfortable with for the fear of been judged. This makes them become people pleasers, which is also an effect of toxic parenting. The bottling up of emotions is often done to avoid been rejected and judged; as perceived by the individual.

Always have it in mind that the traumatic experience you had as a child might still be present as an adult in your life. In addition, your parents were never toxic because you did something wrong, so you are not to blame. Nevertheless, the most important thing is it is possible to unlearn toxic parents you might have learnt as a child, change the dynamic and build a healthier and happier life.

Always parent in your child’s interest even if it bruises your ego.

Dr. Anne Brown on twitter.

Ooops! should we actually call this babies on board cause, the celebrity baby bumps. This has been a year of unexpected pregnancy announcements and engagements, in Kenya and Internationally. Talk of Raych and Kymo, the Watts family, Riss and Quan, Juju and Des among other artists and YouTube couples. Today we are on Offset and Cardi’s surprise.

For the better part of the year Bardi gang have been on Cardi B’s neck. We have been asking where she disappeared to; her Instagram stories have been more of her baby’s and her husband Offset. Only for her to surprise us on the 28^th of June, with a baby bump photo which got over 11 million likes.

Who thought that we would soon be expecting baby number two anytime soon from this cute couple, considering how consistent she has been releasing hits and music videos. We all saw how she rocked the BET awards with her popping baby bump.

Just look at how Cardi B is glowing in her bump, three years later after baby number one, here she is looking like she is about to give us baby number one, she is indeed a yummy mummy. Offset is going to be a father to five, I am sure we are all waiting to see if Kulture is getting a baby sister or brother; for me it’s team girl, I cannot wait to see Cardi style her two mini her and rock my Instagram feed.

 Is this year, the year which people are suffering from pregnancy syndrome; because at the rate I’m seeing pregnancy shoots and baby shower pictures, on my Instagram feed is alarming, “mnafanya naskia nazeeka bana…ha!”. Let me finish typing this article and try joining one of this dating applications, see if I’m lucky enough to get a date maybe he might be the one for me and I might as well surprise you soon with some new on been engaged or baby on board guys.

PS; Wacha tukatafute people wadau na wadaudette.

Why do we often avoid this talk on depression and mental health? It is something affecting a huge population of the youths in our country and even probably in other countries. Some saying they are waiting for the right time to address it, imagine there will be no right time to talk about it. Let us create a conversation about this issue as early as now. We are already losing many lives because of depression cases, maybe because of something the individual could have opened up and talked it out.

I can recall the number of times I have cried myself to fall asleep, the times I have bottle up my emotions and feelings. I even at some point felt suicidal and attempted it had an overdose but luckily enough my mission on earth is not accomplished and surprise I am still alive. Nobody could tell something was off because I seemed so okay to people.  Many are the few times I have tried telling my friends I am not fine and I feel like tired of living but they all take it as a joke. To them I do not look like someone who could have a mental breakdown; and funny enough they enough make jokes about my statement on not been okay. I will not lie and say that I am okay completely but I have found some peace and decided to be easy on myself because forgiving yourself is key. I will narrate my story on battles and fights I have had with my inner soul but not today. This here is an example of how we assume that mental health and depression is not an issue among our circles.

Working with facts almost every one of us knows a person who committed suicide and until now, no one knows what exactly made them do so; or we know someone who knows someone who did it. Have we become so mean and inhumane to a point that our own friends do not feel any comfortable opening up to us and choose to bottle up their feelings and emotions? Because they fear been judged. Can we just create a healthy space for these conversations because at the rate we are losing young people we will have a huge gap left to be filled by who knows who?

In the old days, our parents did have a lot going on but not with kind of pressure, we have at this time and era. For our parents they were sure that they had it figured out despite everything, they were strong enough to handle anything that came their way probably. For the millennials and generation Z we feel like we are sure that if we do not have our life figured out at an early age we shall be failures and that is what we definitely do not want. Nevertheless, we tend to forget that we have to be okay to figure it out and we need to take a step at a time. Let us not be too hard on ourselves.

Can we stop assuming that when people want to open up on issues they have been battling that, that is weakness? It should be seen as a sign of strength because they were courageous enough to talk about it. Not been mentally okay is not something we can see in a blink of an eye, it does take time to identify someone is not okay maybe from their change in behavior. There is also this population, which does not change their behavior and will act as if they are okay and later go cry it out which is not okay at all.

You can take up a 30 days selfcare challenge to help you embrace you more.

PS; My loves, it is okay not to be okay.